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People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.
Carol Burnett
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Carol Burnett
Age: 91
Born: 1933
Born: April 26
Actress
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Military City
USA
Carol Creighton Burnett
Cook
Cooks
Dinner
Clean
Invite
Window
Gratification
Women
Windows
Like
Invites
People
Immediate
More quotes by Carol Burnett
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
Carol Burnett
You do have to love your kids enough to let them hate you. But it's the disease that's hating you, not them.
Carol Burnett
I always felt that I was more of an actress than a - I can't tell a joke to save my soul, but that I was a comedic actress.
Carol Burnett
Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
Carol Burnett
What I do when I write is I just write the way I would tell it, so it comes out just exactly the way I would talk to you.
Carol Burnett
I couldn't get the laughter out of my head. It wasn't career. It wasn't even a choice. It was a calling.
Carol Burnett
In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.
Carol Burnett
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
Carol Burnett
You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can't say I'm glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.
Carol Burnett
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
Carol Burnett
I think we're here for each other.
Carol Burnett
I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.
Carol Burnett
No matter what, when you major in theater arts whether you want to write or be a director or design scenery or whatever, when you are a freshman at UCLA then - I guess it's still the same way - you had to take an acting class.
Carol Burnett
I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie - the networks just wouldn't spend the money today.
Carol Burnett
I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
Carol Burnett
My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.
Carol Burnett
If you want to know the feeling [of labor pain], just take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
Carol Burnett
It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.
Carol Burnett
When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.
Carol Burnett
Celebrity was a long time in coming it will go away. Everything goes away.
Carol Burnett
