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It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.
Carol Burnett
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Carol Burnett
Age: 91
Born: 1933
Born: April 26
Actress
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Military City
USA
Carol Creighton Burnett
People
Funnier
Washington
Impossible
Almost
More quotes by Carol Burnett
People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.
Carol Burnett
I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.
Carol Burnett
I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.
Carol Burnett
there were times when I was more at home in front of millions of people than I was at home.
Carol Burnett
I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie - the networks just wouldn't spend the money today.
Carol Burnett
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Carol Burnett
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
Carol Burnett
You do have to love your kids enough to let them hate you. But it's the disease that's hating you, not them.
Carol Burnett
I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
Carol Burnett
You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.
Carol Burnett
I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.
Carol Burnett
In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.
Carol Burnett
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
Carol Burnett
But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
Carol Burnett
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
Carol Burnett
It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.
Carol Burnett
No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.
Carol Burnett
If you want to know the feeling [of labor pain], just take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
Carol Burnett
No matter what, when you major in theater arts whether you want to write or be a director or design scenery or whatever, when you are a freshman at UCLA then - I guess it's still the same way - you had to take an acting class.
Carol Burnett
I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.
Carol Burnett
