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Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

Carlos Mencia

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Carlos Mencia
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 22
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Ned Arnel Mencía
Ned Mencía
Carlos Mencía
Ned Holness
Ned Arnel Mencia
Told
Year
Girl
Ends
Essay
Years
Essays
Mexican
Pregnant
Teacher

More quotes by Carlos Mencia

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When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!
Carlos Mencia
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When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.
Carlos Mencia
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We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?
Carlos Mencia
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Do not encourage my behaviour.
Carlos Mencia
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And for all of you at home, you are all welcome to visit my store. You are also welcome to park off you motherparking parks, and go park yourself. But remember, don't park in a handicapped spot.
Carlos Mencia
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I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.
Carlos Mencia
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I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.
Carlos Mencia
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At the end of the day, I don't think I am going to be judged by what happened in the 90's and 2000's, at the end of the day my career will be judged from beginning to end and everything in between.
Carlos Mencia
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I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope.
Carlos Mencia
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Why are we rebuilding New Orleans? Whose idea was this, Aquaman?
Carlos Mencia
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Do you think we care about the feelings of Native Americans when we celebrate Columbus Day? That's the day that the white man discovered a land where Indians had been living for a few thousand years.
Carlos Mencia
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If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!
Carlos Mencia
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Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.
Carlos Mencia
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In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke.
Carlos Mencia
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Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.
Carlos Mencia
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We dropped two bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and the name of the plane that delivered the weapons was the Enola Gay. Do you know why? Because we wanted them to know that they were about to get boned in the ass.
Carlos Mencia
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I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.
Carlos Mencia
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Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what do you say? And if that's appropriate to say with your friends, why is it not appropriate anywhere else. Like I hate those people who judge me and are hypocrites.
Carlos Mencia
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If you ask me right now, you've seen the last of Mind of Mencia. I don't want to be a one-trick pony. I would rather walk away and do more movies, comedy and even some dramatic roles.
Carlos Mencia
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I never, nor will I, put another person down to feel better about myself. I will live and die by what I do, not what anyone else thinks about me.
Carlos Mencia