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Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.
Carlos Mencia
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Carlos Mencia
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 22
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Ned Arnel Mencía
Ned Mencía
Carlos Mencía
Ned Holness
Ned Arnel Mencia
Pregnant
Teacher
Told
Year
Girl
Ends
Essay
Years
Essays
Mexican
More quotes by Carlos Mencia
When you are younger, you pretend to believe, but you are proving it to everyone and to yourself. The change comes when you know you're funny on the inside. Then you don't have to prove it to anybody else anymore. That's when you become different and that's when you evolved onto a completely different level, because you know who you are.
Carlos Mencia
If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!
Carlos Mencia
Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.
Carlos Mencia
The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.
Carlos Mencia
And for all of you at home, you are all welcome to visit my store. You are also welcome to park off you motherparking parks, and go park yourself. But remember, don't park in a handicapped spot.
Carlos Mencia
I never, nor will I, put another person down to feel better about myself. I will live and die by what I do, not what anyone else thinks about me.
Carlos Mencia
Hurricane Katrina was caused by political correctness. I said it!
Carlos Mencia
I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope.
Carlos Mencia
In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke.
Carlos Mencia
Do you think we care about the feelings of Native Americans when we celebrate Columbus Day? That's the day that the white man discovered a land where Indians had been living for a few thousand years.
Carlos Mencia
If you ask me right now, you've seen the last of Mind of Mencia. I don't want to be a one-trick pony. I would rather walk away and do more movies, comedy and even some dramatic roles.
Carlos Mencia
We dropped two bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and the name of the plane that delivered the weapons was the Enola Gay. Do you know why? Because we wanted them to know that they were about to get boned in the ass.
Carlos Mencia
When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor.
Carlos Mencia
I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.
Carlos Mencia
Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.
Carlos Mencia
Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.
Carlos Mencia
I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.
Carlos Mencia
I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.
Carlos Mencia
When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!
Carlos Mencia
Do not encourage my behaviour.
Carlos Mencia
