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I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

Carlos Mencia

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Carlos Mencia
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 22
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Ned Arnel Mencía
Ned Mencía
Carlos Mencía
Ned Holness
Ned Arnel Mencia
America
Cubans
Back
Cuban
Miami
Cuba
Swim
Shape
Shapes
Water

More quotes by Carlos Mencia

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Do you think we care about the feelings of Native Americans when we celebrate Columbus Day? That's the day that the white man discovered a land where Indians had been living for a few thousand years.
Carlos Mencia
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Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.
Carlos Mencia
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When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor.
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Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.
Carlos Mencia
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I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.
Carlos Mencia
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Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.
Carlos Mencia
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Why are we rebuilding New Orleans? Whose idea was this, Aquaman?
Carlos Mencia
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It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open... I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that restaurant.
Carlos Mencia
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I never, nor will I, put another person down to feel better about myself. I will live and die by what I do, not what anyone else thinks about me.
Carlos Mencia
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If you ask me right now, you've seen the last of Mind of Mencia. I don't want to be a one-trick pony. I would rather walk away and do more movies, comedy and even some dramatic roles.
Carlos Mencia
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I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope.
Carlos Mencia
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Do not encourage my behaviour.
Carlos Mencia
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We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?
Carlos Mencia
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I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.
Carlos Mencia
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Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what do you say? And if that's appropriate to say with your friends, why is it not appropriate anywhere else. Like I hate those people who judge me and are hypocrites.
Carlos Mencia
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At the end of the day, I don't think I am going to be judged by what happened in the 90's and 2000's, at the end of the day my career will be judged from beginning to end and everything in between.
Carlos Mencia
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In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke.
Carlos Mencia
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The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.
Carlos Mencia
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When you are younger, you pretend to believe, but you are proving it to everyone and to yourself. The change comes when you know you're funny on the inside. Then you don't have to prove it to anybody else anymore. That's when you become different and that's when you evolved onto a completely different level, because you know who you are.
Carlos Mencia
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We dropped two bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and the name of the plane that delivered the weapons was the Enola Gay. Do you know why? Because we wanted them to know that they were about to get boned in the ass.
Carlos Mencia