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When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!
Carlos Mencia
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Carlos Mencia
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: October 22
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Ned Arnel Mencía
Ned Mencía
Carlos Mencía
Ned Holness
Ned Arnel Mencia
Liberal
Conservative
Daughter
Comes
More quotes by Carlos Mencia
Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what do you say? And if that's appropriate to say with your friends, why is it not appropriate anywhere else. Like I hate those people who judge me and are hypocrites.
Carlos Mencia
It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open... I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that restaurant.
Carlos Mencia
Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.
Carlos Mencia
I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope.
Carlos Mencia
If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!
Carlos Mencia
The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.
Carlos Mencia
When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor.
Carlos Mencia
Everything I do is intended to make people laugh and think. I just think something is funny, it's not hurting anybody, not stabbing anybody, not shooting anybody, not making anybody watch me perform. There are thousands of comedians, don't come see me because it's not like I hide it.
Carlos Mencia
I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.
Carlos Mencia
And for all of you at home, you are all welcome to visit my store. You are also welcome to park off you motherparking parks, and go park yourself. But remember, don't park in a handicapped spot.
Carlos Mencia
I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.
Carlos Mencia
If you ask me right now, you've seen the last of Mind of Mencia. I don't want to be a one-trick pony. I would rather walk away and do more movies, comedy and even some dramatic roles.
Carlos Mencia
Hurricane Katrina was caused by political correctness. I said it!
Carlos Mencia
In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke.
Carlos Mencia
We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?
Carlos Mencia
I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.
Carlos Mencia
Do not encourage my behaviour.
Carlos Mencia
We dropped two bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and the name of the plane that delivered the weapons was the Enola Gay. Do you know why? Because we wanted them to know that they were about to get boned in the ass.
Carlos Mencia
Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.
Carlos Mencia
Do you think we care about the feelings of Native Americans when we celebrate Columbus Day? That's the day that the white man discovered a land where Indians had been living for a few thousand years.
Carlos Mencia
