Quote

The elements in a relationship which seem impossible to share, the secretly disturbing, dissatisfying elements, are the most rewarding to share. This is a hard, risky, frightening thing to learn, and it needs to be re-learned over and over.

Carl Rogers

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Carl Rogers
Age: 85 †
Born: 1902
Born: January 8
Died: 1987
Died: February 4
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Psychotherapist
Oak Park
Illinois
Carl Ransom Rogers
Thing
Relationship
Learned
Risky
Share
Secretly
Impossible
Rewarding
Learn
Disturbing
Seems
Frightening
Hard
Elements
Needs
Seem

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No other person's ideas, and none of my own ideas, are as authoritative as my experience.
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I realize that if I were stable, prudent and static I'd live in death. Therefore I accept confusion, uncertainty, fear and emotional ups and downs because that's the price I'm willing to pay for a fluid, perplexed and exciting life.
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People only seriously consider change when they feel accepted for exactly who they are.
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The action of the child inventing a new game with his playmates Einstein formulating a theory of relativity the housewife devising a new sauce for the meat, a young author writing his first novel all of these are in terms of definition, Creative, and there is no attempt to set them in some order of more or less Creative.
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Life is about Being & Becoming.
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When a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he were saying, Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it's like to be me.
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The facts are always friendly, every bit of evidence one can acquire, in any area, leads one that much closer to what is true.
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There are as many real worlds as there are people!
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What you are to be, you are now becoming.
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The paradigm of Western culture is that the essence of persons is dangerous thus, they must be taught, guided, and controlled by those with superior authority.
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We cannot change, we cannot move away from what we are, until we thoroughly accept what we are. Then change seems to come about almost unnoticed.
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It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens.
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The education situation which most effectively promotes significant learning is one in which (1) threat to the self of the learner is reduced to a minimum and (2) differential perception of the field of experience is facilitated
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We can choose to use our growing knowledge to enslave people in ways never dreamed of before, depersonalizing them, controlling them by means so carefully selected that they will perhaps never be aware of their loss of personhood.
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If I were to search for the central core of difficulty in people as I have come to know them, it is that in the great majority of cases they despise themselves, regarding themselves as worthless and unlovable.
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If we value independence, if we are disturbed by the growing conformity of knowledge, of values, of attitudes, which our present system induces, then we may wish to set up conditions of learning which make for uniqueness, for self-direction, and for self-initiated learning.
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You know that I don't believe that anyone has ever taught anything to anyone. I question that efficacy of teaching. The only thing that I know is that anyone who wants to learn will learn. And maybe a teacher is a facilitator, a person who puts things down and shows people how exciting and wonderful it is and asks them to eat.
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We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.
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Learning of all kinds goes on best, lasts best, and tends to lead itself on more when it grows out of a real focus of interest in the learner.
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Life, at its best, is a flowing, changing process in which nothing is fixed.
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