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If the time comes when our culture tires of the endless homicidal feuds, despairs of the use of force and war as a means of bringing peace, becomes discontent with the half-lives that its members are living - only then will our culture seriously look for alternatives.

Carl Rogers

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Carl Rogers
Age: 85 †
Born: 1902
Born: January 8
Died: 1987
Died: February 4
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Psychotherapist
Oak Park
Illinois
Carl Ransom Rogers
Time
Use
Despair
Homicidal
War
Members
Tires
Means
Becomes
Discontent
Culture
Half
Tire
Comes
Peace
Bringing
Look
Force
Alternatives
Looks
Lives
Seriously
Despairs
Mean
Living
Endless
Feuds

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In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
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The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.
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We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.
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I prize the privilege of being alone.
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It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens.
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We cannot change, we cannot move away from what we are, until we thoroughly accept what we are. Then change seems to come about almost unnoticed.
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People only seriously consider change when they feel accepted for exactly who they are.
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Am I living in a way which is deeply satisfying to me, and which truly expresses me?
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If we value independence, if we are disturbed by the growing conformity of knowledge, of values, of attitudes, which our present system induces, then we may wish to set up conditions of learning which make for uniqueness, for self-direction, and for self-initiated learning.
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Learning of all kinds goes on best, lasts best, and tends to lead itself on more when it grows out of a real focus of interest in the learner.
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You know that I don't believe that anyone has ever taught anything to anyone. I question that efficacy of teaching. The only thing that I know is that anyone who wants to learn will learn. And maybe a teacher is a facilitator, a person who puts things down and shows people how exciting and wonderful it is and asks them to eat.
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Life, at its best, is a flowing, changing process in which nothing is fixed.
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The elements in a relationship which seem impossible to share, the secretly disturbing, dissatisfying elements, are the most rewarding to share. This is a hard, risky, frightening thing to learn, and it needs to be re-learned over and over.
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Empathy is a special way of coming to know another and ourself, a kind of attuning and understanding. When empathy is extended, it satisfies our needs and wish for intimacy, it rescues us from our feelings of aloneness.
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The paradigm of Western culture is that the essence of persons is dangerous thus, they must be taught, guided, and controlled by those with superior authority.
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Allowance of the freedom of choices in direction, either for the group or individuals particularly in the near future.
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Openness to all attitudes no matter how extreme or unrealistic they may seem.
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If I were to search for the central core of difficulty in people as I have come to know them, it is that in the great majority of cases they despise themselves, regarding themselves as worthless and unlovable.
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Man's inability to communicate is a result of his failure to listen effectively.
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No other person's ideas, and none of my own ideas, are as authoritative as my experience.
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