Quote

Empathy is a special way of coming to know another and ourself, a kind of attuning and understanding. When empathy is extended, it satisfies our needs and wish for intimacy, it rescues us from our feelings of aloneness.

Carl Rogers

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Carl Rogers
Age: 85 †
Born: 1902
Born: January 8
Died: 1987
Died: February 4
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Psychotherapist
Oak Park
Illinois
Carl Ransom Rogers
Way
Coming
Rescues
Special
Ourself
Understanding
Aloneness
Wish
Satisfies
Feelings
Extended
Another
Rescue
Needs
Intimacy
Kind
Empathy

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Life is about Being & Becoming.
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If I were to search for the central core of difficulty in people as I have come to know them, it is that in the great majority of cases they despise themselves, regarding themselves as worthless and unlovable.
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If I can listen to what he can tell me, if I can understand how it seems to him if I can see its personal meaning for him, if I can sense the emotional flavor which it has for him, then I will be releasing potent forces of change in him.
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Experience is, for me, the highest authority.
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What you are to be, you are now becoming.
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The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.
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The action of the child inventing a new game with his playmates Einstein formulating a theory of relativity the housewife devising a new sauce for the meat, a young author writing his first novel all of these are in terms of definition, Creative, and there is no attempt to set them in some order of more or less Creative.
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We cannot change, we cannot move away from what we are, until we thoroughly accept what we are. Then change seems to come about almost unnoticed.
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Life, at its best, is a flowing, changing process in which nothing is fixed.
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True empathy is always free of any evaluative or diagnostic quality. This comes across to the recipient with some surprise. If I am not being judged, perhaps I am not so evil or abnormal as I have thought.
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Experience is the highest authority.
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The elements in a relationship which seem impossible to share, the secretly disturbing, dissatisfying elements, are the most rewarding to share. This is a hard, risky, frightening thing to learn, and it needs to be re-learned over and over.
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Powerful is our need to be known, really known by ourselves and others, even if only for a moment.
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We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.
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The only person who cannot be helped is that person who blames others.
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If we value independence, if we are disturbed by the growing conformity of knowledge, of values, of attitudes, which our present system induces, then we may wish to set up conditions of learning which make for uniqueness, for self-direction, and for self-initiated learning.
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
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Growth occurs when individuals confront problems, struggle to master them, and through that struggle develop new aspects of their skills, capacities, views about life.
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Am I living in a way which is deeply satisfying to me, and which truly expresses me?
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In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
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