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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.

Carl Rogers

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Carl Rogers
Age: 85 †
Born: 1902
Born: January 8
Died: 1987
Died: February 4
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Psychotherapist
Oak Park
Illinois
Carl Ransom Rogers
Curious
Accept
Awareness
Congruence
Accepting
Hypnosis
Change
Paradoxical
Self
Paradox
Therapy
Appreciation

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Don't be the ammunition wagon, be the rifle... knowledge exists primarily for use.
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Empathy is a special way of coming to know another and ourself, a kind of attuning and understanding. When empathy is extended, it satisfies our needs and wish for intimacy, it rescues us from our feelings of aloneness.
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There is in every organism, at whatever level, an underlying flow of movement toward constructive fulfillment of its inherent possibilities.
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It is a direction not a destination.
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There are as many real worlds as there are people!
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Most of us consist of two separated parts, trying desperately to bring themselves together into an integrated soma, where the distinctions between mind and body, feelings and intellect, would be obliterated.
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It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens.
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If the time comes when our culture tires of the endless homicidal feuds, despairs of the use of force and war as a means of bringing peace, becomes discontent with the half-lives that its members are living - only then will our culture seriously look for alternatives.
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When a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he were saying, Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it's like to be me.
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Experience is the highest authority.
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It is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial, what experiences have been deeply buried.
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Though modern Marriage is a tremendous laboratory, its members are often without preparation for the partnership function. How much agony and remorse and failure could have been avoided if there had been at least some rudimentary learning before they entered the partnership.
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You know that I don't believe that anyone has ever taught anything to anyone. I question that efficacy of teaching. The only thing that I know is that anyone who wants to learn will learn. And maybe a teacher is a facilitator, a person who puts things down and shows people how exciting and wonderful it is and asks them to eat.
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The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.
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In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
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Allowance of the freedom of choices in direction, either for the group or individuals particularly in the near future.
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Openness to all attitudes no matter how extreme or unrealistic they may seem.
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Am I living in a way which is deeply satisfying to me, and which truly expresses me?
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The degree to which I can create relationships, which facilitate the growth of others as separate persons, is a measure of the growth I have achieved in myself.
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If I were to search for the central core of difficulty in people as I have come to know them, it is that in the great majority of cases they despise themselves, regarding themselves as worthless and unlovable.
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