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My driving record is not exemplary, but I have never had a speeding ticket over 100 m.p.h. I can say that unequivocally.

Carl Hiaasen

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Carl Hiaasen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: March 12
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Fort Lauderdale
Florida
Record
Records
Never
Unequivocally
Exemplary
Speeding
Ticket
Tickets
Driving

More quotes by Carl Hiaasen

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Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.
Carl Hiaasen
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One problem with age is that patience begins to ebb.
Carl Hiaasen
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There's so much hate that we direct externally that we forget we have our own psychos. But that's the role of the satirist - you have to examine your own country and say, look!
Carl Hiaasen
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Roy remembered the time he and his father had a talk about fighting. 'It's important to stand up for what's right,' Mr. Eberhardt had said, 'but sometimes there's a fine line between courage and stupidity.
Carl Hiaasen
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Everybody's idea of a great book is different, of course. For me it's one that makes my jaw drop on every page, the writing is so original.
Carl Hiaasen
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There's this false notion that this is a regional phenomenon, when in fact every state in the union has hardcore rednecks. No exceptions.
Carl Hiaasen
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The TV commercials, which are endless and fairly crass, gave birth to Brock, the bad-lawyer character in Razor Girl. In real life you can find even sleazier examples than him.
Carl Hiaasen
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Disney's something to be a little alarmed about. It's not just a little theme park anymore. It's now an ethic and outlook and strategy that goes way beyond central Florida.
Carl Hiaasen
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When I'm working on a novel of my own, I try to read mostly nonfiction, although sometimes I break down and peek at something else.
Carl Hiaasen
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I'd love to see a good script of one of my books, in these years of animations and comic book sequels, and had so many written over the years, but none quite clicked.
Carl Hiaasen
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I still do a weekly opinion column for the Miami Herald, and it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Rotten fish.
Carl Hiaasen
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Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to be fixed. And what better place to get that well of venom and outrage boiling than a newsroom, because you're on the front lines.
Carl Hiaasen
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Unfortunately, Florida is a mecca for the shyster element, and there are apparently no rules on the kinds of advertising a lawyer can do.
Carl Hiaasen
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The greatest sin for a writer is to be boring.
Carl Hiaasen
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I'd always wanted to write books ever since I was a kid.
Carl Hiaasen
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...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me. You don't know that. Yeah, you're right, Stranahan said. They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.
Carl Hiaasen
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Humor can be an incredible, lacerating and effective weapon.
Carl Hiaasen
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I'm sort of fascinated by America's fascination with rednecks, the whole Duck Dynasty thing. Being a white guy from the South, I find it amazing that so many TV viewers are enchanted by beards, bad dentistry and moonshine accents.
Carl Hiaasen
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Bangkok 8 is one of the most startling and provocative mysteries that I've read in years. The characters are marvelously unique, the setting is intoxicating and the plot unwinds in dark illusory strands, reminiscent of Gorky Park. Once I started, I didn't want to put it down.
Carl Hiaasen
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The Thieves of Manhattan is a sly and cutting riff on the book-publishing world that is quite funny unless you happen to be an author, in which case the novel will make you consider a more sensible profession-like being a rodeo clown, for example, or a crab-fisherman in the Bering Sea.
Carl Hiaasen