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I won't be making any friends in the corporate suites.

Carl Hiaasen

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Carl Hiaasen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: March 12
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Fort Lauderdale
Florida
Friends
Making
Suites
Corporate

More quotes by Carl Hiaasen

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Nobody with an IQ higher than emergency-room temperature could ever believe that 'death panels' would be appointed to nudge the elderly toward euthanasia. Yet for idle entertainment, it's hard to beat Sarah Palin's ignorant nattering on the subject.
Carl Hiaasen
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The one word that no politician will ever speak, is 'enough.' Enough.
Carl Hiaasen
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My driving record is not exemplary, but I have never had a speeding ticket over 100 m.p.h. I can say that unequivocally.
Carl Hiaasen
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I'm sort of fascinated by America's fascination with rednecks, the whole Duck Dynasty thing. Being a white guy from the South, I find it amazing that so many TV viewers are enchanted by beards, bad dentistry and moonshine accents.
Carl Hiaasen
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There's so much hate that we direct externally that we forget we have our own psychos. But that's the role of the satirist - you have to examine your own country and say, look!
Carl Hiaasen
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The greatest sin for a writer is to be boring.
Carl Hiaasen
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Unfortunately, I don't get to read nearly as much as I want because I'm always working on my own stuff, either the novels or newspaper columns.
Carl Hiaasen
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Bangkok 8 is one of the most startling and provocative mysteries that I've read in years. The characters are marvelously unique, the setting is intoxicating and the plot unwinds in dark illusory strands, reminiscent of Gorky Park. Once I started, I didn't want to put it down.
Carl Hiaasen
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I love reality shows. The folks who dream up some of these concepts are either geniuses, or totally stoned.
Carl Hiaasen
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Every writer scrounges for inspiration in different places, and there's no shame in raiding the headlines. It's necessary, in fact, when attempting contemporary satire. Sharp-edged humor relies on topical reference points.
Carl Hiaasen
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Unfortunately, Florida is a mecca for the shyster element, and there are apparently no rules on the kinds of advertising a lawyer can do.
Carl Hiaasen
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You can do the best research and be making the strongest intellectual argument, but if readers don't get past the third paragraph you've wasted your energy and valuable ink.
Carl Hiaasen
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Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head.
Carl Hiaasen
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Everybody's idea of a great book is different, of course. For me it's one that makes my jaw drop on every page, the writing is so original.
Carl Hiaasen
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...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me. You don't know that. Yeah, you're right, Stranahan said. They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.
Carl Hiaasen
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I'd always wanted to write books ever since I was a kid.
Carl Hiaasen
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The central part of the state is more remote and less scenic, and there's a huge agricultural belt that stretches from the south of Lake Okeechobee to the border of Everglades National Park, where the restoration effort is being concentrated, .. Obviously the movement to save the Everglades runs up against agricultural concerns.
Carl Hiaasen
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The TV commercials, which are endless and fairly crass, gave birth to Brock, the bad-lawyer character in Razor Girl. In real life you can find even sleazier examples than him.
Carl Hiaasen
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A bonus, being a writer, is that the true-life source material is fabulously bizarre. There's so much corruption, violence and free-floating depravity that the well never runs dry, whether you're a novelist, a journalist, or both.
Carl Hiaasen
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The Thieves of Manhattan is a sly and cutting riff on the book-publishing world that is quite funny unless you happen to be an author, in which case the novel will make you consider a more sensible profession-like being a rodeo clown, for example, or a crab-fisherman in the Bering Sea.
Carl Hiaasen