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I won't be making any friends in the corporate suites.

Carl Hiaasen

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Carl Hiaasen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: March 12
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Fort Lauderdale
Florida
Suites
Corporate
Friends
Making

More quotes by Carl Hiaasen

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Everybody's idea of a great book is different, of course. For me it's one that makes my jaw drop on every page, the writing is so original.
Carl Hiaasen
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Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head.
Carl Hiaasen
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Unfortunately, I don't get to read nearly as much as I want because I'm always working on my own stuff, either the novels or newspaper columns.
Carl Hiaasen
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Nobody with an IQ higher than emergency-room temperature could ever believe that 'death panels' would be appointed to nudge the elderly toward euthanasia. Yet for idle entertainment, it's hard to beat Sarah Palin's ignorant nattering on the subject.
Carl Hiaasen
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There's so much hate that we direct externally that we forget we have our own psychos. But that's the role of the satirist - you have to examine your own country and say, look!
Carl Hiaasen
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One problem with age is that patience begins to ebb.
Carl Hiaasen
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...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me. You don't know that. Yeah, you're right, Stranahan said. They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.
Carl Hiaasen
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Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.
Carl Hiaasen
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Every writer scrounges for inspiration in different places, and there's no shame in raiding the headlines. It's necessary, in fact, when attempting contemporary satire. Sharp-edged humor relies on topical reference points.
Carl Hiaasen
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I don't have an e-reader. One reason is that I like to dog-ear the page when I find a particularly good sentence or passage.
Carl Hiaasen
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I think it's always good for the author to stay a good cattle prod's distance from the actual moviemaking.
Carl Hiaasen
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When I'm working on a novel of my own, I try to read mostly nonfiction, although sometimes I break down and peek at something else.
Carl Hiaasen
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There's this false notion that this is a regional phenomenon, when in fact every state in the union has hardcore rednecks. No exceptions.
Carl Hiaasen
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Disney's something to be a little alarmed about. It's not just a little theme park anymore. It's now an ethic and outlook and strategy that goes way beyond central Florida.
Carl Hiaasen
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Y'see, I get so bored so easily. I like to start with a clean slate each time. Sure, I'll have characters drop in and out of books but the main cast of characters always changes. Maybe I'm wrong but I think if had the same joe detective guy or gal, I wouldn't write them as well I wouldn't do as good a job.
Carl Hiaasen
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I'm sort of fascinated by America's fascination with rednecks, the whole Duck Dynasty thing. Being a white guy from the South, I find it amazing that so many TV viewers are enchanted by beards, bad dentistry and moonshine accents.
Carl Hiaasen
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The Thieves of Manhattan is a sly and cutting riff on the book-publishing world that is quite funny unless you happen to be an author, in which case the novel will make you consider a more sensible profession-like being a rodeo clown, for example, or a crab-fisherman in the Bering Sea.
Carl Hiaasen
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My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox.
Carl Hiaasen
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Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to be fixed. And what better place to get that well of venom and outrage boiling than a newsroom, because you're on the front lines.
Carl Hiaasen
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Bangkok 8 is one of the most startling and provocative mysteries that I've read in years. The characters are marvelously unique, the setting is intoxicating and the plot unwinds in dark illusory strands, reminiscent of Gorky Park. Once I started, I didn't want to put it down.
Carl Hiaasen