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...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me. You don't know that. Yeah, you're right, Stranahan said. They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.

Carl Hiaasen

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Carl Hiaasen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: March 12
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Fort Lauderdale
Florida
Right
Cop
Way
Collecting
Pair
Toys
Pairs
Shoot
Yeah
Tots
Probably
Cops

More quotes by Carl Hiaasen

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I'd love to see a good script of one of my books, in these years of animations and comic book sequels, and had so many written over the years, but none quite clicked.
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Nobody with an IQ higher than emergency-room temperature could ever believe that 'death panels' would be appointed to nudge the elderly toward euthanasia. Yet for idle entertainment, it's hard to beat Sarah Palin's ignorant nattering on the subject.
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I still do a weekly opinion column for the Miami Herald, and it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Rotten fish.
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Y'see, I get so bored so easily. I like to start with a clean slate each time. Sure, I'll have characters drop in and out of books but the main cast of characters always changes. Maybe I'm wrong but I think if had the same joe detective guy or gal, I wouldn't write them as well I wouldn't do as good a job.
Carl Hiaasen
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I won't be making any friends in the corporate suites.
Carl Hiaasen
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Roy remembered the time he and his father had a talk about fighting. 'It's important to stand up for what's right,' Mr. Eberhardt had said, 'but sometimes there's a fine line between courage and stupidity.
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Everybody's idea of a great book is different, of course. For me it's one that makes my jaw drop on every page, the writing is so original.
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Bangkok 8 is one of the most startling and provocative mysteries that I've read in years. The characters are marvelously unique, the setting is intoxicating and the plot unwinds in dark illusory strands, reminiscent of Gorky Park. Once I started, I didn't want to put it down.
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My driving record is not exemplary, but I have never had a speeding ticket over 100 m.p.h. I can say that unequivocally.
Carl Hiaasen
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Humor can be an incredible, lacerating and effective weapon.
Carl Hiaasen
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A bonus, being a writer, is that the true-life source material is fabulously bizarre. There's so much corruption, violence and free-floating depravity that the well never runs dry, whether you're a novelist, a journalist, or both.
Carl Hiaasen
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One problem with age is that patience begins to ebb.
Carl Hiaasen
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Disney's something to be a little alarmed about. It's not just a little theme park anymore. It's now an ethic and outlook and strategy that goes way beyond central Florida.
Carl Hiaasen
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The one word that no politician will ever speak, is 'enough.' Enough.
Carl Hiaasen
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Unfortunately, Florida is a mecca for the shyster element, and there are apparently no rules on the kinds of advertising a lawyer can do.
Carl Hiaasen
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I love reality shows. The folks who dream up some of these concepts are either geniuses, or totally stoned.
Carl Hiaasen
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I don't have an e-reader. One reason is that I like to dog-ear the page when I find a particularly good sentence or passage.
Carl Hiaasen
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When I'm working on a novel of my own, I try to read mostly nonfiction, although sometimes I break down and peek at something else.
Carl Hiaasen
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You can do the best research and be making the strongest intellectual argument, but if readers don't get past the third paragraph you've wasted your energy and valuable ink.
Carl Hiaasen
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The greatest sin for a writer is to be boring.
Carl Hiaasen