Quote

...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me. You don't know that. Yeah, you're right, Stranahan said. They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.

Carl Hiaasen

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Carl Hiaasen
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: March 12
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Fort Lauderdale
Florida
Shoot
Yeah
Tots
Probably
Cops
Right
Cop
Way
Collecting
Pair
Toys
Pairs

More quotes by Carl Hiaasen

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Bangkok 8 is one of the most startling and provocative mysteries that I've read in years. The characters are marvelously unique, the setting is intoxicating and the plot unwinds in dark illusory strands, reminiscent of Gorky Park. Once I started, I didn't want to put it down.
Carl Hiaasen
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I love reality shows. The folks who dream up some of these concepts are either geniuses, or totally stoned.
Carl Hiaasen
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A bonus, being a writer, is that the true-life source material is fabulously bizarre. There's so much corruption, violence and free-floating depravity that the well never runs dry, whether you're a novelist, a journalist, or both.
Carl Hiaasen
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The TV commercials, which are endless and fairly crass, gave birth to Brock, the bad-lawyer character in Razor Girl. In real life you can find even sleazier examples than him.
Carl Hiaasen
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As frightening as this may sound, what you see in the books is the way I see the world. And so far I haven't seen anything, either in Florida or elsewhere, to dissuade me from it.
Carl Hiaasen
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Unfortunately, Florida is a mecca for the shyster element, and there are apparently no rules on the kinds of advertising a lawyer can do.
Carl Hiaasen
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I'm sort of fascinated by America's fascination with rednecks, the whole Duck Dynasty thing. Being a white guy from the South, I find it amazing that so many TV viewers are enchanted by beards, bad dentistry and moonshine accents.
Carl Hiaasen
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Roy remembered the time he and his father had a talk about fighting. 'It's important to stand up for what's right,' Mr. Eberhardt had said, 'but sometimes there's a fine line between courage and stupidity.
Carl Hiaasen
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One problem with age is that patience begins to ebb.
Carl Hiaasen
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The Thieves of Manhattan is a sly and cutting riff on the book-publishing world that is quite funny unless you happen to be an author, in which case the novel will make you consider a more sensible profession-like being a rodeo clown, for example, or a crab-fisherman in the Bering Sea.
Carl Hiaasen
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I still do a weekly opinion column for the Miami Herald, and it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Rotten fish.
Carl Hiaasen
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My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox.
Carl Hiaasen
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Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to be fixed. And what better place to get that well of venom and outrage boiling than a newsroom, because you're on the front lines.
Carl Hiaasen
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Disney's something to be a little alarmed about. It's not just a little theme park anymore. It's now an ethic and outlook and strategy that goes way beyond central Florida.
Carl Hiaasen
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Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.
Carl Hiaasen
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I won't be making any friends in the corporate suites.
Carl Hiaasen
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I don't have an e-reader. One reason is that I like to dog-ear the page when I find a particularly good sentence or passage.
Carl Hiaasen
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My driving record is not exemplary, but I have never had a speeding ticket over 100 m.p.h. I can say that unequivocally.
Carl Hiaasen
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When I'm working on a novel of my own, I try to read mostly nonfiction, although sometimes I break down and peek at something else.
Carl Hiaasen
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No deliberative body is manifestly less qualified to make decisions about public education than our state Legislature. With a few shining exceptions, most of these clowns don't read, can't write, and clearly can't add.
Carl Hiaasen