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There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.

Calvin Trillin

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Calvin Trillin
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 5
Journalist
Novelist
Poet
Kansas City
Missouri
Calvin Marshall Trillin
Sooner
California
Later
Theory
Fun
America
Anything
People
Ruined

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It was a given in our family that my father was a grocer so that I wouldn't have to be.
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In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.
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If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
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There's always a source for humor.
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One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.
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Law professors were never like economics professors, a Harvard Law professor told me. If you disagreed with someone, you didn't call him a fool.
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If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come 'Lincolnesque' just means tall?
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I suppose that there are endeavors in which self-confidence is even more important than it is in writing -- tightrope walking comes immediately to mind -- but it's difficult for me to think of anybody producing much writing if his confidence is completely shot.
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What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.
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Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.
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The Banh Mi sandwich is really the only good argument for colonialism.
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We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.
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I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.
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People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them.
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Being on a book tour is a lot easier than reporting.
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Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.
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What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul.
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The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?
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I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
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Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.
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