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Everything was blamed on Castro. Mudslides in California. The fact that you can't buy a decent tomato anymore. Was there an exceptionally high pollen count in Massapequa, Long Island, one day? It was Castro, exporting sneezes.

Calvin Trillin

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Calvin Trillin
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 5
Journalist
Novelist
Poet
Kansas City
Missouri
Calvin Marshall Trillin
Long
Count
Tomato
Decent
Exceptionally
California
Blamed
Anymore
Tomatoes
High
Castro
Fact
Cuba
Sneezes
Facts
Island
Pollen
Everything
Islands
Exporting

More quotes by Calvin Trillin

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One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.
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The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?
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What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.
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I suppose that there are endeavors in which self-confidence is even more important than it is in writing -- tightrope walking comes immediately to mind -- but it's difficult for me to think of anybody producing much writing if his confidence is completely shot.
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Everybody is who he was in high school.
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I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.
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It was a given in our family that my father was a grocer so that I wouldn't have to be.
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Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.
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I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.
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If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?
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I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
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Anybody who doesn't think that the best hamburger place in teh world is in his home town is a sissy.
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There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.
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At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.
Calvin Trillin
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Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma's toaster as antiques.
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Taking pleasure in the dark side may be some sort of occupational hazard for reporters.
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Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.
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It has long been acknowledged that the single best restaurant in the world is Arthur Bryant's Barbecue at Eighteenth and Booklyn in Kansas city.
Calvin Trillin
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Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.
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In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.
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