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In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.

Calvin Trillin

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Calvin Trillin
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 5
Journalist
Novelist
Poet
Kansas City
Missouri
Calvin Marshall Trillin
Writing
Actually
Finds
Difficult
Newspapers
Write
Presses
Stills
Pass
Concoct
America
Events
Article
Still
Modern
Attempts
May
Situation
Bizarre
Come
Anyone
Articles

More quotes by Calvin Trillin

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Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.
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Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.
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We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.
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Why in the world are you a Republican?
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People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them.
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The ceiling on taxation of capital gains reflects the national belief that speculation is a more worthwhile way to make a living than work.
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The Banh Mi sandwich is really the only good argument for colonialism.
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I suppose that there are endeavors in which self-confidence is even more important than it is in writing -- tightrope walking comes immediately to mind -- but it's difficult for me to think of anybody producing much writing if his confidence is completely shot.
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The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
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At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.
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There's always a source for humor.
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I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.
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I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.
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Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma's toaster as antiques.
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Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.
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I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
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Law professors were never like economics professors, a Harvard Law professor told me. If you disagreed with someone, you didn't call him a fool.
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A new regulation for the publishing industry: The advance for a book must be larger than the check for the lunch at which it was discussed.
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Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.
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When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who are being put in charge of things scares the hell out of him.
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