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If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?
Calvin Trillin
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Calvin Trillin
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 5
Journalist
Novelist
Poet
Kansas City
Missouri
Calvin Marshall Trillin
Full
Paste
Grows
Stumps
Guy
Beard
Stores
Good
Leaving
Bumblebee
Guys
Bumblebees
Health
Stump
Grow
Beards
More quotes by Calvin Trillin
When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who are being put in charge of things scares the hell out of him.
Calvin Trillin
If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come 'Lincolnesque' just means tall?
Calvin Trillin
If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.
Calvin Trillin
I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.
Calvin Trillin
Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.
Calvin Trillin
Taking pleasure in the dark side may be some sort of occupational hazard for reporters.
Calvin Trillin
When helicopters were snatching people from the grounds of the American embassy compound during the panic of the final Vietcong push into Saigon, I was sitting in front of the television set shouting, Get the chefs! Get the chefs!
Calvin Trillin
One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.
Calvin Trillin
If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is?
Calvin Trillin
Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.
Calvin Trillin
It has long been acknowledged that the single best restaurant in the world is Arthur Bryant's Barbecue at Eighteenth and Booklyn in Kansas city.
Calvin Trillin
At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.
Calvin Trillin
We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.
Calvin Trillin
Anybody who doesn't think that the best hamburger place in teh world is in his home town is a sissy.
Calvin Trillin
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.
Calvin Trillin
I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.
Calvin Trillin
I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.
Calvin Trillin
In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.
Calvin Trillin
As part of my research for An Anthology of Authors' Atrocity Stories About Publishers, I conducted a study (employing my usual controls) that showed the average shelf life of a trade book to be somewhere between milk and yoghurt.
Calvin Trillin
It was a given in our family that my father was a grocer so that I wouldn't have to be.
Calvin Trillin