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If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?

Calvin Trillin

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Calvin Trillin
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 5
Journalist
Novelist
Poet
Kansas City
Missouri
Calvin Marshall Trillin
Grows
Stumps
Guy
Beard
Good
Stores
Leaving
Bumblebee
Guys
Bumblebees
Health
Stump
Grow
Beards
Full
Paste

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It was a given in our family that my father was a grocer so that I wouldn't have to be.
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How did Italy manage to end up with no Caribbean islands at all? Christopher Columbus took the trouble to discover the Caribbean personally before the end of the fifteenth century. Try to get a decent plate of spaghetti there now.
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A new regulation for the publishing industry: The advance for a book must be larger than the check for the lunch at which it was discussed.
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Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.
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Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.
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There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.
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There's always a source for humor.
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Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.
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I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.
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I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.
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When you're writing, you are robbed of your delivery.
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If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come 'Lincolnesque' just means tall?
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There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.
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Law professors were never like economics professors, a Harvard Law professor told me. If you disagreed with someone, you didn't call him a fool.
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In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.
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The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?
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I've written three books you could think of as memoirs.
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At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.
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I've decided to skip 'holistic'. I don't know what it means, and I don't want to know. That may seem extreme, but I followed the same strategy toward 'Gestalt' and the 'Twist', and lived to tell the tale.
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The Banh Mi sandwich is really the only good argument for colonialism.
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