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Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

Calvin Trillin

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Calvin Trillin
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 5
Journalist
Novelist
Poet
Kansas City
Missouri
Calvin Marshall Trillin
Finding
Merely
Marriage
Place
Restaurant
Firsts
Sharing
First
Restaurants
Burden
Findings

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When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who are being put in charge of things scares the hell out of him.
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I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
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Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.
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If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is?
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I've written three books you could think of as memoirs.
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Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.
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If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
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Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food.
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There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.
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I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.
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What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul.
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How did Italy manage to end up with no Caribbean islands at all? Christopher Columbus took the trouble to discover the Caribbean personally before the end of the fifteenth century. Try to get a decent plate of spaghetti there now.
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The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
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There's always a source for humor.
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Taking pleasure in the dark side may be some sort of occupational hazard for reporters.
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When helicopters were snatching people from the grounds of the American embassy compound during the panic of the final Vietcong push into Saigon, I was sitting in front of the television set shouting, Get the chefs! Get the chefs!
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The ceiling on taxation of capital gains reflects the national belief that speculation is a more worthwhile way to make a living than work.
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I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.
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A new regulation for the publishing industry: The advance for a book must be larger than the check for the lunch at which it was discussed.
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There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.
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