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Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

Calvin Trillin

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Calvin Trillin
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 5
Journalist
Novelist
Poet
Kansas City
Missouri
Calvin Marshall Trillin
Marriage
Place
Restaurant
Firsts
Sharing
First
Restaurants
Burden
Findings
Finding
Merely

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Everything was blamed on Castro. Mudslides in California. The fact that you can't buy a decent tomato anymore. Was there an exceptionally high pollen count in Massapequa, Long Island, one day? It was Castro, exporting sneezes.
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How did Italy manage to end up with no Caribbean islands at all? Christopher Columbus took the trouble to discover the Caribbean personally before the end of the fifteenth century. Try to get a decent plate of spaghetti there now.
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I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.
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Why in the world are you a Republican?
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Anybody who doesn't think that the best hamburger place in teh world is in his home town is a sissy.
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Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.
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What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.
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Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food.
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The Banh Mi sandwich is really the only good argument for colonialism.
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If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
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In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.
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I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.
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When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.
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It happens to be a matter of record that I was first in print with the discovery that the tastelessness of the food offered in American clubs varies in direct proportion to the exclusiveness of the club.
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A new regulation for the publishing industry: The advance for a book must be larger than the check for the lunch at which it was discussed.
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There's always a source for humor.
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Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.
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Taking pleasure in the dark side may be some sort of occupational hazard for reporters.
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If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is?
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There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.
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