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It happens to be a matter of record that I was first in print with the discovery that the tastelessness of the food offered in American clubs varies in direct proportion to the exclusiveness of the club.

Calvin Trillin

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Calvin Trillin
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 5
Journalist
Novelist
Poet
Kansas City
Missouri
Calvin Marshall Trillin
Happens
Clubs
Firsts
Cooking
Exclusiveness
Matter
Discovery
Varies
First
Record
Vary
Direct
Offered
Records
Club
Food
Print
American
Proportion

More quotes by Calvin Trillin

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One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.
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At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.
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I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.
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The ceiling on taxation of capital gains reflects the national belief that speculation is a more worthwhile way to make a living than work.
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We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.
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It has long been acknowledged that the single best restaurant in the world is Arthur Bryant's Barbecue at Eighteenth and Booklyn in Kansas city.
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The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
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Taking pleasure in the dark side may be some sort of occupational hazard for reporters.
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Being on a book tour is a lot easier than reporting.
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If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.
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I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
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In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.
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There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.
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When helicopters were snatching people from the grounds of the American embassy compound during the panic of the final Vietcong push into Saigon, I was sitting in front of the television set shouting, Get the chefs! Get the chefs!
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I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.
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Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.
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As part of my research for An Anthology of Authors' Atrocity Stories About Publishers, I conducted a study (employing my usual controls) that showed the average shelf life of a trade book to be somewhere between milk and yoghurt.
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I've written three books you could think of as memoirs.
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What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul.
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I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.
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