Quote

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

Calvin Trillin

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Calvin Trillin
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 5
Journalist
Novelist
Poet
Kansas City
Missouri
Calvin Marshall Trillin
Effects
Everybody
Favor
Would
Restaurants
Favors
Immigration
Effect
English
Except

More quotes by Calvin Trillin

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I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.
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What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul.
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The Banh Mi sandwich is really the only good argument for colonialism.
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At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.
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Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.
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When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who are being put in charge of things scares the hell out of him.
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Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.
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Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan.
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I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.
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When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.
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Why in the world are you a Republican?
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When you're writing, you are robbed of your delivery.
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Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.
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As part of my research for An Anthology of Authors' Atrocity Stories About Publishers, I conducted a study (employing my usual controls) that showed the average shelf life of a trade book to be somewhere between milk and yoghurt.
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If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
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There's always a source for humor.
Calvin Trillin
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Everybody is who he was in high school.
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People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them.
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There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.
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I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.
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