Quote

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

Calvin Trillin

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Calvin Trillin
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 5
Journalist
Novelist
Poet
Kansas City
Missouri
Calvin Marshall Trillin
Effects
Everybody
Favor
Would
Restaurants
Favors
Immigration
Effect
English
Except

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What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.
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If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?
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Everything was blamed on Castro. Mudslides in California. The fact that you can't buy a decent tomato anymore. Was there an exceptionally high pollen count in Massapequa, Long Island, one day? It was Castro, exporting sneezes.
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At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.
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Law professors were never like economics professors, a Harvard Law professor told me. If you disagreed with someone, you didn't call him a fool.
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I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.
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There's always a source for humor.
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It was a given in our family that my father was a grocer so that I wouldn't have to be.
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When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.
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If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come 'Lincolnesque' just means tall?
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In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.
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There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.
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When you're writing, you are robbed of your delivery.
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Why in the world are you a Republican?
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I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.
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I've written three books you could think of as memoirs.
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Before I was born [my father] wanted me to go specifically to Yale, which he thought would help. It was easy for him to think I could be president: he didn't have to worry about being president himself, being ineligible because he wasn't born in the United States.
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Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food.
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The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?
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How did Italy manage to end up with no Caribbean islands at all? Christopher Columbus took the trouble to discover the Caribbean personally before the end of the fifteenth century. Try to get a decent plate of spaghetti there now.
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