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The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Calvin Trillin

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Calvin Trillin
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 5
Journalist
Novelist
Poet
Kansas City
Missouri
Calvin Marshall Trillin
Years
Humor
Meals
Parenthood
Never
Food
Remarkable
Meal
Funny
Thirty
Chef
Family
Originals
Parenting
Leftovers
Found
Original
Served
Cookbook
Mother
Cooking
Culinary
Mothering
Nothing
Mom
Favourite
Dieting
Thing
Eating
Motherhood
Cuisine

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Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan.
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Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.
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A new regulation for the publishing industry: The advance for a book must be larger than the check for the lunch at which it was discussed.
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I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
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Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.
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Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.
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If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?
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I suppose that there are endeavors in which self-confidence is even more important than it is in writing -- tightrope walking comes immediately to mind -- but it's difficult for me to think of anybody producing much writing if his confidence is completely shot.
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Before I was born [my father] wanted me to go specifically to Yale, which he thought would help. It was easy for him to think I could be president: he didn't have to worry about being president himself, being ineligible because he wasn't born in the United States.
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If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.
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There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.
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Everything was blamed on Castro. Mudslides in California. The fact that you can't buy a decent tomato anymore. Was there an exceptionally high pollen count in Massapequa, Long Island, one day? It was Castro, exporting sneezes.
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Why in the world are you a Republican?
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Everybody is who he was in high school.
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Law professors were never like economics professors, a Harvard Law professor told me. If you disagreed with someone, you didn't call him a fool.
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Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.
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I've decided to skip 'holistic'. I don't know what it means, and I don't want to know. That may seem extreme, but I followed the same strategy toward 'Gestalt' and the 'Twist', and lived to tell the tale.
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I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.
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When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who are being put in charge of things scares the hell out of him.
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