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I can only work between the hours of 8:30 and 4:30, because that's when the kids are at school. So I get to do all my work and have all of my fun in that time, which means just sitting on a chair, typing, alternately clicking between writing a column and being on Twitter, and smoking as many cigarettes as I can before my lungs give out.

Caitlin Moran

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Caitlin Moran
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 5
Columnist
Film Producer
Journalist
Music Journalist
Writer
Brighton
England
Catherine Elizabeth Moran
Work
Means
Cigarette
Time
Kids
Chair
Alternately
School
Twitter
Clicking
Give
Chairs
Typing
Many
Smoking
Column
Giving
Sitting
Cigarettes
Mean
Fun
Columns
Writing
Hours
Lungs

More quotes by Caitlin Moran

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When you talk to a young teenage girl, they're just full of self-loathing. The reason they feel self-loathing is they don't feel normal. It is a world that has not been built for them. It's been built for men, and that's why they feel bad.
Caitlin Moran
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If you are lying down to give birth, gravity is not helping you. You know, you stand up and, you know, a baby will basically kind of fall out of you, if you keep walking 'round.
Caitlin Moran
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I love puffins. They are small, round gothic birds, and their babies are called pufflings.
Caitlin Moran
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The world is difficult and we are all breakable. So just be kind.
Caitlin Moran
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I think loads of women have this idea that their life is going to start at some point, once they've busted all these problems of being a woman, once we're thin and we're pretty and we've got all of our clothes and stuff, that's when our life will begin. And you meet people at 48 who are still thinking that, and 58.
Caitlin Moran
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I don't want children anyway,' Caz says. 'So I'm getting nothing out of this whatsoever. I want my entire reproductive system taken out, and replaced with spare lungs, for when I start smoking. I want that option. This is pointless.
Caitlin Moran
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I loved Riot Grrl. Not only was it a punk rock revolution, but it meant you could get dressed for a night out for less than two pounds!
Caitlin Moran
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When I talk to girls, they go, 'I'm not a feminist.' And I say: 'What? You don't want to vote? Do you want to be owned by your husband? Do you want your money from your job to go into his bank account? If you were raped, do you still want that to be a crime? Congratulations : you are a feminist.'
Caitlin Moran
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Feminism, as it stands, well... stands. It has ground to a halt.
Caitlin Moran
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It was the Spice Girls who messed it all up. And obviously, the appropriating of the phrase girl power, which at that point overrode any notion of feminism, and which was a phrase that meant absolutely nothing apart from being friends with your girlfriends.
Caitlin Moran
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For me, and I suspect a lot of socially awkward people, dealing with people face-to-face seems really traumatic. Particularly if you have massive sweating issues, and particularly if on top of that you have quite smelly sweat that smells like onion soup.
Caitlin Moran
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I do not... look very feminine. Diana, Princess of Wales is feminine... I am... femi-none.
Caitlin Moran
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I read something once that when you're online, your inhibitions are lowered to the state where you've had three drinks. Once you basically know that the entire internet is slightly drunk, it all makes a lot more sense, and you deport yourself accordingly.
Caitlin Moran
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I wish I could give up smoking, but it does taste so delicious.
Caitlin Moran
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I'm SO glad I spent 10 years being sad and lonely.
Caitlin Moran
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To say that you have to carry to term and look after a child for the rest of your life is to say I force you, legally, to love someone. It's like saying, you know, you have to go and love another - you have to go - you know, you have to go marry someone. It's like an arranged marriage.
Caitlin Moran
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The first thing to improve society is not banning abortion, but making sure that everyone who had a child is in the best position to be able to rear it.
Caitlin Moran
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Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws.
Caitlin Moran
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Just proportionately, statistically, one in three women are going to have an abortion. They're not all going to feel guilty.
Caitlin Moran
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I am in love, and he's the one. Obviously I thought the one before him was the one and the one before that was the one, too. Frankly, I'm so much into the idea of being in love that anyone out of about 3 million could be the one. But no, this one now is definitely the one, the very one.
Caitlin Moran