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Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws.
Caitlin Moran
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Caitlin Moran
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 5
Columnist
Film Producer
Journalist
Music Journalist
Writer
Brighton
England
Catherine Elizabeth Moran
Outside
Heaven
Ever
Time
Jigsaw
Invented
Biggest
Waste
More quotes by Caitlin Moran
You should write, write, write every day, and learn to edit and pare it right back so you're proud of every sentence, and each one is either being useful or beautiful, but hopefully both.
Caitlin Moran
If I'm going to spunk £500 on a pair of designer shoes, it's going to be a pair that I can a) dance to 'Bad Romance' in and b) will allow me to run away from a murderer, should one suddenly decide to give chase.
Caitlin Moran
I think loads of women have this idea that their life is going to start at some point, once they've busted all these problems of being a woman, once we're thin and we're pretty and we've got all of our clothes and stuff, that's when our life will begin. And you meet people at 48 who are still thinking that, and 58.
Caitlin Moran
If you eat enough books, you start pooping out words.
Caitlin Moran
I wish I could give up smoking, but it does taste so delicious.
Caitlin Moran
Women are feminist by default.
Caitlin Moran
I was brought up in the '80s. I was born in 1975. So by the time I got to 10 and I kind of knew that I probably was going to have to be a grown-up lady at some point, the feminine role models that I had were kind of the cast of Dynasty and Dallas. And I just found that terrifying.
Caitlin Moran
For me, and I suspect a lot of socially awkward people, dealing with people face-to-face seems really traumatic. Particularly if you have massive sweating issues, and particularly if on top of that you have quite smelly sweat that smells like onion soup.
Caitlin Moran
When I talk to girls, they go, 'I'm not a feminist.' And I say: 'What? You don't want to vote? Do you want to be owned by your husband? Do you want your money from your job to go into his bank account? If you were raped, do you still want that to be a crime? Congratulations : you are a feminist.'
Caitlin Moran
We must recall the most important of humanity guidelines: Be polite. Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth.
Caitlin Moran
I can only work between the hours of 8:30 and 4:30, because that's when the kids are at school. So I get to do all my work and have all of my fun in that time, which means just sitting on a chair, typing, alternately clicking between writing a column and being on Twitter, and smoking as many cigarettes as I can before my lungs give out.
Caitlin Moran
I just want Tina Fey to be my best friend. And Lena Dunham. And Oprah, too.
Caitlin Moran
I never wanted to be famous. It was amusing at first, but now I hate it. I just wanted to be respected by people I respect. And I wanted to be rich. It's best to get rich, then you can do what you want.
Caitlin Moran
I always give three pieces of advice to all the teenage girls when I do my talks: long country walks - it's important to get some fresh air in your lungs, and be in contact with your body masturbation - it takes the edge off, it'll get you through and the revolution - believing in changing the world.
Caitlin Moran
When you say you're not a feminist, if feminism hadn't existed, and you didn't live in a feminist world, you wouldn't be saying that, because you'd be too busy scrubbing out the toilets in back while cooking up your husband's tea and dying in childbirth at the age of 34.
Caitlin Moran
Whenever I see a taboo, I just think that's something we need to drag screaming out into the light and discuss. Because taboos are where our fears live, and taboos are the things that keep us tiny. Particularly for women.
Caitlin Moran
If you read all your history books, there are no women in them.
Caitlin Moran
I am fully aware of what the word 'fat' means ... It's a swear word. It's a weapon. It's a sociological subspecies. It's an accusation, dismissal, and rejection.
Caitlin Moran
If you've been fat, you will always feel and see the world as a fat person you know how difficult it is... It's the same coming from a working-class background... it never leaves you.
Caitlin Moran
I can't think of anything I hate more than a former punk - they are the most self-righteous people in the world.
Caitlin Moran