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And every book, you find, has its own social group--friends of its own it wants to introduce you to, like a party in the library that need never, ever end.

Caitlin Moran

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Caitlin Moran
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 5
Columnist
Film Producer
Journalist
Music Journalist
Writer
Brighton
England
Catherine Elizabeth Moran
Ever
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Book
Groups
Need
Wants
Needs
Party
Every
Friends
Never
Social
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More quotes by Caitlin Moran

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I was brought up in the '80s. I was born in 1975. So by the time I got to 10 and I kind of knew that I probably was going to have to be a grown-up lady at some point, the feminine role models that I had were kind of the cast of Dynasty and Dallas. And I just found that terrifying.
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You just wanted to be normal. It wasn't even being beautiful. I just wanted to be smooth and thin and have, and you know, have beautiful glossy hair and lovely clothes and be able to walk in heels. And I thought that once I did all of that stuff that my life would begin.
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If you eat enough books, you start pooping out words.
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For me, and I suspect a lot of socially awkward people, dealing with people face-to-face seems really traumatic. Particularly if you have massive sweating issues, and particularly if on top of that you have quite smelly sweat that smells like onion soup.
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I wish I could give up smoking, but it does taste so delicious.
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Whenever I see a taboo, I just think that's something we need to drag screaming out into the light and discuss. Because taboos are where our fears live, and taboos are the things that keep us tiny. Particularly for women.
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I think loads of women have this idea that their life is going to start at some point, once they've busted all these problems of being a woman, once we're thin and we're pretty and we've got all of our clothes and stuff, that's when our life will begin. And you meet people at 48 who are still thinking that, and 58.
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Once you've got a big feminist and political justification for talking about how you went round to Benedict Cumberbatch's house and did period all over his sofa, then there's no reason not to tell that anecdote in the middle of a dinner party.
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I don't want children anyway,' Caz says. 'So I'm getting nothing out of this whatsoever. I want my entire reproductive system taken out, and replaced with spare lungs, for when I start smoking. I want that option. This is pointless.
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The first thing to improve society is not banning abortion, but making sure that everyone who had a child is in the best position to be able to rear it.
Caitlin Moran
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In the end I want to spend my 60s writing bonkbusters like Jilly Cooper.
Caitlin Moran
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I want a Zero Tolerance policy on All The Patriarchal Bullshit.
Caitlin Moran
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I read something once that when you're online, your inhibitions are lowered to the state where you've had three drinks. Once you basically know that the entire internet is slightly drunk, it all makes a lot more sense, and you deport yourself accordingly.
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But as the years went on, I realised that what I really want to be, all told, is a human. Just a productive, honest, courteously treated human.
Caitlin Moran
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Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws.
Caitlin Moran
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I am in love, and he's the one. Obviously I thought the one before him was the one and the one before that was the one, too. Frankly, I'm so much into the idea of being in love that anyone out of about 3 million could be the one. But no, this one now is definitely the one, the very one.
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You think it doesn't really matter if you screw up this time around because you can just sort it all out in paradise
Caitlin Moran
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If I'm going to spunk £500 on a pair of designer shoes, it's going to be a pair that I can a) dance to 'Bad Romance' in and b) will allow me to run away from a murderer, should one suddenly decide to give chase.
Caitlin Moran
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Feminism, as it stands, well... stands. It has ground to a halt.
Caitlin Moran
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If anyone was going to write a song or, you know, or a book, or make a film about a girl like me, it was going to have to be a girl like me, and quite literally, me.
Caitlin Moran