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I want a Zero Tolerance policy on All The Patriarchal Bullshit.

Caitlin Moran

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Caitlin Moran
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 5
Columnist
Film Producer
Journalist
Music Journalist
Writer
Brighton
England
Catherine Elizabeth Moran
Tolerance
Policy
Patriarchal
Bullshit
Zero

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I say this in the spirit of feminist encouragement, but I think I'm pretty hot. I've got all the facial features, facing the right way, at the right end, and you can always paint over the bad bits with makeup.
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A male feminist is one of the most glorious end-products of evolution.
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I don't want children anyway,' Caz says. 'So I'm getting nothing out of this whatsoever. I want my entire reproductive system taken out, and replaced with spare lungs, for when I start smoking. I want that option. This is pointless.
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I think that instead of feminism being a political thing, it should be an act of creativity. It's more of a rock n' roll thing.
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Women are feminist by default.
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My core belief is that if you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two minutes ago you should have done something about it.
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If you do it properly, life is art, really.
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Any action a woman engages in from a spirit of joy, and within a similarly safe and joyous environment, falls within the city-walls of feminism. A girl has a right to dance how she wants, when her favourite record comes on.
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The problem that we have is thinking there's only one kind of feminist, and that she's politically correct and right on at all times, wears flat shoes, doesn't wear makeup, probably doesn't have sex, is very angry, wears dungarees, is a vegetarian.
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A majority of women's magazines feature women who do amazing things, but then the article focuses on how she ruined it with her shoes.
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I always give three pieces of advice to all the teenage girls when I do my talks: long country walks - it's important to get some fresh air in your lungs, and be in contact with your body masturbation - it takes the edge off, it'll get you through and the revolution - believing in changing the world.
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If you are lying down to give birth, gravity is not helping you. You know, you stand up and, you know, a baby will basically kind of fall out of you, if you keep walking 'round.
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I think it's a really important thing for women to be able to just put their hands up and go, I can't actually do any more.
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You think it doesn't really matter if you screw up this time around because you can just sort it all out in paradise
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It was the Spice Girls who messed it all up. And obviously, the appropriating of the phrase girl power, which at that point overrode any notion of feminism, and which was a phrase that meant absolutely nothing apart from being friends with your girlfriends.
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Once you've got a big feminist and political justification for talking about how you went round to Benedict Cumberbatch's house and did period all over his sofa, then there's no reason not to tell that anecdote in the middle of a dinner party.
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If I'm going to spunk £500 on a pair of designer shoes, it's going to be a pair that I can a) dance to 'Bad Romance' in and b) will allow me to run away from a murderer, should one suddenly decide to give chase.
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I loved Riot Grrl. Not only was it a punk rock revolution, but it meant you could get dressed for a night out for less than two pounds!
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It's the silliness--the profligacy, and the silliness--that's so dizzying: a seven-year-old will run downstairs, kiss you hard, and then run back upstairs again, all in less than 30 seconds. It's as urgent an item on their daily agenda as eating or singing. It's like being mugged by Cupid.
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