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I say this in the spirit of feminist encouragement, but I think I'm pretty hot. I've got all the facial features, facing the right way, at the right end, and you can always paint over the bad bits with makeup.

Caitlin Moran

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Caitlin Moran
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 5
Columnist
Film Producer
Journalist
Music Journalist
Writer
Brighton
England
Catherine Elizabeth Moran
Right
Features
Way
Hot
Always
Feminist
Think
Paint
Thinking
Bits
Facial
Pretty
Facing
Spirit
Encouragement
Ends
Makeup

More quotes by Caitlin Moran

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I loved Riot Grrl. Not only was it a punk rock revolution, but it meant you could get dressed for a night out for less than two pounds!
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It's just a horrible thing to keep saying to a woman, do you want a baby inside you? I mean, it's creepy.
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I’m neither ‘pro-women’ nor ‘anti-men’. I’m just ‘Thumbs up for the six billion
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There's something so free about being a fan and being enthusiastic about stuff - you attract all the other people who are also loving and enthusiastic when you're sending out signals of love. When you start to communicate cynicism and hatred, it leads you down a completely different path.
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I do not... look very feminine. Diana, Princess of Wales is feminine... I am... femi-none.
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And every book, you find, has its own social group--friends of its own it wants to introduce you to, like a party in the library that need never, ever end.
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If you read all your history books, there are no women in them.
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We must recall the most important of humanity guidelines: Be polite. Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth.
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If you eat enough books, you start pooping out words.
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A 'sign of weakness' for a male celebrity is being found to be unfaithful, or unkind to an employee, or having crashed their car while stoned out of their tiny minds. A 'sign of weakness' for a woman, on the other hand, can be a single, unflattering picture.
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I read something once that when you're online, your inhibitions are lowered to the state where you've had three drinks. Once you basically know that the entire internet is slightly drunk, it all makes a lot more sense, and you deport yourself accordingly.
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I always give three pieces of advice to all the teenage girls when I do my talks: long country walks - it's important to get some fresh air in your lungs, and be in contact with your body masturbation - it takes the edge off, it'll get you through and the revolution - believing in changing the world.
Caitlin Moran
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I am in love, and he's the one. Obviously I thought the one before him was the one and the one before that was the one, too. Frankly, I'm so much into the idea of being in love that anyone out of about 3 million could be the one. But no, this one now is definitely the one, the very one.
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I just want Tina Fey to be my best friend. And Lena Dunham. And Oprah, too.
Caitlin Moran
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I don't want children anyway,' Caz says. 'So I'm getting nothing out of this whatsoever. I want my entire reproductive system taken out, and replaced with spare lungs, for when I start smoking. I want that option. This is pointless.
Caitlin Moran
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I can only work between the hours of 8:30 and 4:30, because that's when the kids are at school. So I get to do all my work and have all of my fun in that time, which means just sitting on a chair, typing, alternately clicking between writing a column and being on Twitter, and smoking as many cigarettes as I can before my lungs give out.
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I am fully aware of what the word 'fat' means ... It's a swear word. It's a weapon. It's a sociological subspecies. It's an accusation, dismissal, and rejection.
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A male feminist is one of the most glorious end-products of evolution.
Caitlin Moran
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There are some women out there who are just going to look better with a mustache: that's statistics.
Caitlin Moran
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The world is difficult and we are all breakable. So just be kind.
Caitlin Moran