A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.

Is Hollywood the cruelest city in the world? Well, it can be. New York can be that, too. You can be a Broadway star here one night, and something happens, and out--nobody knows you on the street. They forget you ever lived. It happens in Hollywood, too.

Not long ago a friend asked me what was the greatest pleasure I got from spending my whole life as an actor. There have been so many that I had to think about that for a moment. Then I said, 'Like everyone else, I like to be with a happy crowd'.

I don't act, anyway. The stuff is all injected as we go along. My pictures are made without script or written directions of any kind

I don't feel qualified to talk about my work.

They say pantomime's a lost art. It's never been a lost art and never will be, because it's too natural to do.

All my life I have been happiest when the folks watching me said to each other, `Look at the poor dope, wilya?

Tragedy is a close-up comedy, a long shot.

I gotta do some sad scenes. Why, I never tried to make anybody cry in my life! And I go `round all the time dolled up in kippie clothes-wear everything but a corset...can`t stub my toe in this picture nor anything! Just imagine having to play-act all the time without ever getting hit with anything!

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

Like everyone else, I like to be with a happy crowd.

If one more person tells me this is just like old times, I swear I'll jump out the window.

Charlie Chaplin and I would have a friendly contest: Who could do the feature film with the least subtitles?