Charlie Chaplin and I would have a friendly contest: Who could do the feature film with the least subtitles?

A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.

I don't feel qualified to talk about my work.

They say pantomime's a lost art. It's never been a lost art and never will be, because it's too natural to do.

I don't act, anyway. The stuff is all injected as we go along. My pictures are made without script or written directions of any kind

If one more person tells me this is just like old times, I swear I'll jump out the window.

Like everyone else, I like to be with a happy crowd.

All my life I have been happiest when the folks watching me said to each other, `Look at the poor dope, wilya?

Is Hollywood the cruelest city in the world? Well, it can be. New York can be that, too. You can be a Broadway star here one night, and something happens, and out--nobody knows you on the street. They forget you ever lived. It happens in Hollywood, too.

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

Not long ago a friend asked me what was the greatest pleasure I got from spending my whole life as an actor. There have been so many that I had to think about that for a moment. Then I said, 'Like everyone else, I like to be with a happy crowd'.

Tragedy is a close-up comedy, a long shot.

I gotta do some sad scenes. Why, I never tried to make anybody cry in my life! And I go `round all the time dolled up in kippie clothes-wear everything but a corset...can`t stub my toe in this picture nor anything! Just imagine having to play-act all the time without ever getting hit with anything!