Non-mainstream people seem to balk at the idea of 12-step. A lot of us think 12-step recovery means sitting in a church basement full of Republicans and Christians who drink to much.

Maximum Rocknroll didn't have a map section. How was I supposed to know that Berkeley was not a neighborhood of San Francisco?

We've been there and come back. When you fall in the pit, people are supposed to help you up. But you have to get up on your own. We'll take your arms, but you have to get your legs underneath you and stand.

There was my other big misconception. That if I got sober and went to a meeting they'd make me believe in God. Not true. They ask you to believe in a higher power. You need a higher power, but it doesn't have to be a super-natural entity. You have all this power inside you.

Oddly-shaped is a term I've been using because it doesn't sound better or worse than anyone elses. All those other terms like f**'ed up childhood or broken home, none of them sound good. Were our childhoods better or worse? I don't know. It's different.

What can I do to become more like my Ideal Image?

Being able to play tragedy for humor rather than pity is a new trick I've learned. For a long time that's what I did with my poetry, ask people to feel sorry for me. I got sober and I realized I have to get out of the pity thing it's not going anywhere for me. I don't want to have any self-pity.