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It's a practice for me every day, sometimes every hour of every day. It is an absolute practice. When I went into the research, I really thought that there are authentic people and inauthentic people, period. What I found is, there people who practice authenticity and people who don't. The people who practice authenticity work their ass off at it.

Brené Brown

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Brené Brown
Age: 58
Born: 1965
Born: November 18
Author
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Social Worker
Military City
USA
Brene Brown
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Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It's the magic sauce.
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Then I tell my own story. The two things that people really need to transform is language to understand their experience and to know they're not alone. It's the combination of the researcher-storyteller part.
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The difficult thing is that vulnerability is the first thing I look for in you and the last thing I'm willing to show you. In you, it's courage and daring. In me, it's weakness.
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The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: me too.
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Joy comes to us in moments--ordina ry moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.
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Vulnerability is not weakness.
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Courage is telling our story, not being immune to criticism.
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I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity, to name a few.
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We would solve a lot of huge problems that are causing massive suffering. Poverty, violence, homophobia, heterosexism, racism, the environment - all these things that are crippling us. We need big, bold, dangerous, crazy ideas to solve these problems. When failure is not an option, innovation and creativity are not options.
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Everything that these folks are saying that they're trying to move away from, like comparison, perfectionism, judgement, and exhaustion as a status symbol - that all describes my life. It was more like a medical researcher studying a disease and figuring out he or she has it.
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You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.
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Do you light up when your kids are coming in the room or do you become the instant critic?
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Vulnerability pushed, I pushed back. I lost the fight, but probably won my life back.
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Knowledge is important, but only if we're being kind and gentle with ourselves as we work to discover who we are.
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Nostalgia is also a dangerous form of comparison. Think about how often we compare our lives to a memory that nostalgia has so completely edited that it never really existed.
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I now see how gifts like courage, compassion, and connection only work when they are exercised. Every day.
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I've found what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults.
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Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.
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Empathy doesn't require that we have the exact same experiences as the person sharing their story with us...Empathy is connecting with the emotion that someone is experiencing, not the event or the circumstance.
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Let go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are. Be imperfect and have compassion for yourself. Connection is the result of authenticity.
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