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It's a practice for me every day, sometimes every hour of every day. It is an absolute practice. When I went into the research, I really thought that there are authentic people and inauthentic people, period. What I found is, there people who practice authenticity and people who don't. The people who practice authenticity work their ass off at it.

Brené Brown

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Brené Brown
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: November 18
Author
Essayist
Podcaster
Researcher
Scientist
Social Worker
Military City
USA
Brene Brown
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Shame works like the zoom lens on a camera. When we are feeling shame, the camera is zoomed in tight and all we see is our flawed selves, alone and struggling.(page 68)
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Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.
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When we numb [hard feelings], we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness.
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Everything that these folks are saying that they're trying to move away from, like comparison, perfectionism, judgement, and exhaustion as a status symbol - that all describes my life. It was more like a medical researcher studying a disease and figuring out he or she has it.
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Knowledge is important, but only if we're being kind and gentle with ourselves as we work to discover who we are.
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Wholeheartedness. There are many tenets of Wholeheartedness, but at its very core is vulnerability and worthiness facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough.
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But I don't think it's as dangerous, scary, or terrifying as getting to the end of our lives and wondering, what if I would have shown up?
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Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.
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I believe in the healing power of laughter. I believe laughter forces us to breathe.
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If we want to be able to move through the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings, and the heartbreaks that are inevitable in a fully lived life, we can't equate defeat with being unworthy of love, belonging and joy. If we do, we'll never show up and try again.
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Let go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are. Be imperfect and have compassion for yourself. Connection is the result of authenticity.
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'Crazy-busy' is a great armor, it's a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we're feeling and what we really need can't catch up with us.
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Then I tell my own story. The two things that people really need to transform is language to understand their experience and to know they're not alone. It's the combination of the researcher-storyteller part.
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Perfectionism is self destructive simply because there's no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal.
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I don't just want someone who says they love me I want someone who practices that love for me every day.
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Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will they think?
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If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive.
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In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.
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