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We can talk about courage and love and compassion until we sound like a greeting card store, but unless we're willing to have an honest conversation about what gets in the way of putting these into practice in our daily lives, we will never change. Never, ever.

Brené Brown

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Brené Brown
Age: 58
Born: 1965
Born: November 18
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USA
Brene Brown
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Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.
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I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity, to name a few.
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Who we are matters immeasurably more than what we know or who we want to be.
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If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.
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We are the most in-debt, obese, addicted and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history.
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At the end of my life I want to be able to say I contributed more than I criticized.
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Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.
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Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both it’s engaging. It’s being all in.
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I can't even think of the right word, but it's not help. It's more like a prerequisite. I think connection is why we're here, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and belonging is in our DNA. And so tribe and belonging are irreducible needs, like love.
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When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in.
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If you can't say it to me in front of my kids, don't say it.
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What we know matters, but who we are matters more. Being rather than knowing requires showing up and letting ourselves be seen. It requires us to dare greatly, to be vulnerable.
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I've found what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults.
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Do you light up when your kids are coming in the room or do you become the instant critic?
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If we want to be able to move through the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings, and the heartbreaks that are inevitable in a fully lived life, we can't equate defeat with being unworthy of love, belonging and joy. If we do, we'll never show up and try again.
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There's no evidence that vulnerabilty is weakness.
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We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.
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We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.
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I think a lot of us are looking for the same thing. I feel very lucky to have a definitive moment where I know everything shifted in me, and it was the moment I read that quote. Because I thought, A. That's everything I know about vulnerability. It's not winning, it's not losing, it's showing up and being seen. B. That's who I want to be.
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The difficult thing is that vulnerability is the first thing I look for in you and the last thing I'm willing to show you. In you, it's courage and daring. In me, it's weakness.
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