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Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.
Brené Brown
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Brené Brown
Age: 58
Born: 1965
Born: November 18
Author
Essayist
Podcaster
Researcher
Scientist
Social Worker
Military City
USA
Brene Brown
Belonging
Imperfect
Courage
Strong
Sense
Love
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What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.
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Numb the dark and you numb the light.
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You can’t dress rehearse the bad moments.
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Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.
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Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.
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We're all so busy chasing the extraordinary that we forget to stop and be grateful for the ordinary.
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It was scary. But it was so liberating. I thought, This is not predetermined - I get to choose. There are some days where I have to choose five times in a day. I had to make a choice when you called and the phone rang, whether I'm going to show up and be me, or whether I'm going to say what I think I'm supposed to say and get off the phone.
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Nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous and hurtful as believing that I'm standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen.
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Do you light up when your kids are coming in the room or do you become the instant critic?
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Love is a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them - we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
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I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude.
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Most people believe vulnerability is weakness. But really vulnerability is Courage. We must ask ourselves...are we willing to show up and be seen.
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Vulnerability is not about fear and grief and disappointment it is the birthplace of everything we're hungry for.
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Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It's the magic sauce.
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Shame works like the zoom lens on a camera. When we are feeling shame, the camera is zoomed in tight and all we see is our flawed selves, alone and struggling.(page 68)
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Guilt is just as powerful, but its influence is positive, while shame's is destructive. Shame erodes our courage and fuels disengagement.
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I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity, to name a few.
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Self-compassion is key because when we're able to be gentle with ourselves in the midst of shame, we're more likely to reach out, connect, and experience empathy.
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If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.
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I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred. Perhaps embracing vulnerability and overcoming numbing is ultimately about the care and feeding of our spirits
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