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Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.

Brené Brown

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Brené Brown
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: November 18
Author
Essayist
Podcaster
Researcher
Scientist
Social Worker
Military City
USA
Brene Brown
Derives
Unspeakable
Shame
Power
Gremlins

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Knowledge is important, but only if we're being kind and gentle with ourselves as we work to discover who we are.
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I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred. Perhaps embracing vulnerability and overcoming numbing is ultimately about the care and feeding of our spirits
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Self-compassion is key because when we're able to be gentle with ourselves in the midst of shame, we're more likely to reach out, connect, and experience empathy.
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Talk about your failures without apologizing.
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Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both it’s engaging. It’s being all in.
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Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It's the magic sauce.
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Then I tell my own story. The two things that people really need to transform is language to understand their experience and to know they're not alone. It's the combination of the researcher-storyteller part.
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When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in.
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We need to change what we say and what we allow to be said in front of us.
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Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
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Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous.
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When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak.
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Who we are matters immeasurably more than what we know or who we want to be.
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Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It's tough to do that when we're terrified about what people might see or think.
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I think a lot of us are looking for the same thing. I feel very lucky to have a definitive moment where I know everything shifted in me, and it was the moment I read that quote. Because I thought, A. That's everything I know about vulnerability. It's not winning, it's not losing, it's showing up and being seen. B. That's who I want to be.
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We can talk about courage and love and compassion until we sound like a greeting card store, but unless we're willing to have an honest conversation about what gets in the way of putting these into practice in our daily lives, we will never change. Never, ever.
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Shame derives its power from being unspeakable...If we speak shame, it begins to wither. Just the way exposure to light was deadly for the gremlins, language and story bring light to shame and destroy it.
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Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot tolerate having words wrapped around it. What it craves is secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you stay quiet, you stay in a lot of self-judgment.
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Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will they think?
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Courage is telling our story, not being immune to criticism.
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