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Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will they think?
Brené Brown
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Brené Brown
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: November 18
Author
Essayist
Podcaster
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Scientist
Social Worker
Military City
USA
Brene Brown
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Perfectionism
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Strive
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'Crazy-busy' is a great armor, it's a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we're feeling and what we really need can't catch up with us.
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I can't even think of the right word, but it's not help. It's more like a prerequisite. I think connection is why we're here, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and belonging is in our DNA. And so tribe and belonging are irreducible needs, like love.
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Hope is really a thought.
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The only universal language I know of that wraps up joy and gratitude and love is laughter.
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Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot tolerate having words wrapped around it. What it craves is secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you stay quiet, you stay in a lot of self-judgment.
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We don't have to be perfect, just engaged and committed to aligning values with actions.
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If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.
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Our capacity for wholeheartednes s can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted.
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I think a lot of us are looking for the same thing. I feel very lucky to have a definitive moment where I know everything shifted in me, and it was the moment I read that quote. Because I thought, A. That's everything I know about vulnerability. It's not winning, it's not losing, it's showing up and being seen. B. That's who I want to be.
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The willingness to show up changes us, It makes us a little braver each time.
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Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.
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Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
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It's in our biology to trust what we see with our eyes. This makes living in a carefully edited, overproduced and photoshopped world very dangerous.
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We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.
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Connection, the ability to feel connected, is neurobiologically wired, that’s why we’re here!
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I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred. Perhaps embracing vulnerability and overcoming numbing is ultimately about the care and feeding of our spirits
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I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued when they can give and receive without judgment and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.
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The truth is, I'm a storyteller. And it scares me, because my training as an academic is that the more accessible you are and the more human you are, the less smart you are. It's a shame trigger for me to be honest.
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If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive.
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Creativity, which is the expression of our originality, helps us stay mindful that what we bring to the world is completely original and cannot be compared.
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