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Shame works like the zoom lens on a camera. When we are feeling shame, the camera is zoomed in tight and all we see is our flawed selves, alone and struggling.(page 68)

Brené Brown

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Brené Brown
Age: 58
Born: 1965
Born: November 18
Author
Essayist
Podcaster
Researcher
Scientist
Social Worker
Military City
USA
Brene Brown
Alone
Struggling
Feeling
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Feelings
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Shame
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Flawed
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In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.
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If we want to be able to move through the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings, and the heartbreaks that are inevitable in a fully lived life, we can't equate defeat with being unworthy of love, belonging and joy. If we do, we'll never show up and try again.
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You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.
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Shame derives its power from being unspeakable...If we speak shame, it begins to wither. Just the way exposure to light was deadly for the gremlins, language and story bring light to shame and destroy it.
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Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It's tough to do that when we're terrified about what people might see or think.
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Most people believe vulnerability is weakness. But really vulnerability is Courage. We must ask ourselves...are we willing to show up and be seen.
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Why, when we know that there's no such thing as perfect, do most of us spend an incredible amount of time and energy trying to be everything to everyone? Is it that we really admire perfection? No - the truth is that we are actually drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth. We love authenticity and we know that life is messy and imperfect.
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Knowledge is important, but only if we're being kind and gentle with ourselves as we work to discover who we are.
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Numb the dark and you numb the light.
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If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.
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Courage is telling our story, not being immune to criticism.
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Talk about your failures without apologizing.
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Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives.
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If we want to live and love with our whole hearts, and if we want to engage with the world from a place of worthiness, we have to talk about the things that get in the way- especially shame, fear and vulnerability
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The question isn't so much Are you parenting the right way? as it is: Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?
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