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When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, And now his watch is over. That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, And now his tour is done.

Brad Williams

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Brad Williams
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More quotes by Brad Williams

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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
Brad Williams
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I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.
Brad Williams
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When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.
Brad Williams
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Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.
Brad Williams
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I'm in awe of comics that do things that I can't do, or haven't tried doing yet.
Brad Williams
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
Brad Williams
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I like to play video games, I like to keep up with sports, and I just like to spend time with people, because I'm on the road so much that when I'm home, I like to spend time with people that I don't normally get to see.
Brad Williams
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
Brad Williams
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I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.
Brad Williams
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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.
Brad Williams
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
Brad Williams
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, That joke offended me, I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
Brad Williams
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I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.
Brad Williams
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I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
Brad Williams
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
Brad Williams
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I don't want to be mean. I try not to be.
Brad Williams
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I try not to be hateful.
Brad Williams
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
Brad Williams
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I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.
Brad Williams
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The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.
Brad Williams