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When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, And now his watch is over. That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, And now his tour is done.

Brad Williams

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Brad Williams
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More quotes by Brad Williams

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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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I'm in awe of comics that do things that I can't do, or haven't tried doing yet.
Brad Williams
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I try not to be hateful.
Brad Williams
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
Brad Williams
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I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.
Brad Williams
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I like to play video games, I like to keep up with sports, and I just like to spend time with people, because I'm on the road so much that when I'm home, I like to spend time with people that I don't normally get to see.
Brad Williams
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I don't think I'm extremely intelligent by any means.
Brad Williams
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
Brad Williams
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I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, Oh, what do I do for fun?
Brad Williams
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I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
Brad Williams
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It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
Brad Williams
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I'm not going to talk too much politics because I'm not smart enough to do that.
Brad Williams
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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.
Brad Williams
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
Brad Williams
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I don't want to be mean. I try not to be.
Brad Williams
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I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
Brad Williams
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Every now and then we're going to fail.
Brad Williams
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I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.
Brad Williams
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, That joke offended me, I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
Brad Williams
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Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.
Brad Williams