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When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, And now his watch is over. That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, And now his tour is done.

Brad Williams

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Brad Williams
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More quotes by Brad Williams

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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
Brad Williams
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It's extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what's going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
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I don't think I'm extremely intelligent by any means.
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
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I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, Oh, what do I do for fun?
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I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
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I'm not going to talk too much politics because I'm not smart enough to do that.
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I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
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I try not to be hateful.
Brad Williams
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.
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When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.
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I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.
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I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.
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Every now and then we're going to fail.
Brad Williams
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People ask me a lot like, Hey, so when are you done with your tour? Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.
Brad Williams
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I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.
Brad Williams
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I don't want to be mean. I try not to be.
Brad Williams
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
Brad Williams
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
Brad Williams