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People ask me a lot like, Hey, so when are you done with your tour? Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.

Brad Williams

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Brad Williams
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More quotes by Brad Williams

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I like to play video games, I like to keep up with sports, and I just like to spend time with people, because I'm on the road so much that when I'm home, I like to spend time with people that I don't normally get to see.
Brad Williams
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, That joke offended me, I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
Brad Williams
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
Brad Williams
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I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
Brad Williams
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Every now and then we're going to fail.
Brad Williams
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When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.
Brad Williams
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
Brad Williams
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I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.
Brad Williams
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Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.
Brad Williams
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
Brad Williams
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I'm not going to talk too much politics because I'm not smart enough to do that.
Brad Williams
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
Brad Williams
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
Brad Williams
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I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.
Brad Williams
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I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
Brad Williams
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It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
Brad Williams
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I'm in awe of comics that do things that I can't do, or haven't tried doing yet.
Brad Williams
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
Brad Williams
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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.
Brad Williams
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
Brad Williams