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People ask me a lot like, Hey, so when are you done with your tour? Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.

Brad Williams

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Brad Williams
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More quotes by Brad Williams

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I try not to be hateful.
Brad Williams
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
Brad Williams
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I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.
Brad Williams
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I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
Brad Williams
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I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, Oh, what do I do for fun?
Brad Williams
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When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, And now his watch is over. That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, And now his tour is done.
Brad Williams
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
Brad Williams
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It's extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what's going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
Brad Williams
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
Brad Williams
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Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.
Brad Williams
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I don't want to be mean. I try not to be.
Brad Williams
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Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because... they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can't take it to a dangerous place.
Brad Williams
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I'm not going to talk too much politics because I'm not smart enough to do that.
Brad Williams
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, That joke offended me, I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
Brad Williams
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I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
Brad Williams
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
Brad Williams
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I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.
Brad Williams
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I don't think I'm extremely intelligent by any means.
Brad Williams
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I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.
Brad Williams
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I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.
Brad Williams