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I try not to be hateful.
Brad Williams
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Brad Williams
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More quotes by Brad Williams
If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
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I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.
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It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
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I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
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Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
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I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
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I'm not going to talk too much politics because I'm not smart enough to do that.
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
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Every now and then we're going to fail.
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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.
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When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, And now his watch is over. That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, And now his tour is done.
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I like to play video games, I like to keep up with sports, and I just like to spend time with people, because I'm on the road so much that when I'm home, I like to spend time with people that I don't normally get to see.
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I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, That joke offended me, I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
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I don't think I'm extremely intelligent by any means.
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It's extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what's going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
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When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.
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