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I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.

Brad Williams

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More quotes by Brad Williams

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I kind of want to know a little bit about everything.
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I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.
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The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.
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I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, Oh, what do I do for fun?
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
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I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, That joke offended me, I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
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Every now and then we're going to fail.
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
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Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because... they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can't take it to a dangerous place.
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
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I try not to be hateful.
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I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
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I don't want to be mean. I try not to be.
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