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The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.

Brad Williams

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I don't think I'm extremely intelligent by any means.
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When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.
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I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, That joke offended me, I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
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I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.
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I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.
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I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
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It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they've seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
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I kind of want to know a little bit about everything.
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
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I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, Oh, what do I do for fun?
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Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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I'm in awe of comics that do things that I can't do, or haven't tried doing yet.
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I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.
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I try not to be hateful.
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When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, And now his watch is over. That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, And now his tour is done.
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