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It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.

Brad Williams

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Brad Williams
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More quotes by Brad Williams

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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
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I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don't pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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I don't know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It's very confusing to me.
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I try not to be hateful.
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I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
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I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.
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The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
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When you talk about modern comedy I think there's a big three right now, and that's Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies. I don't think anyone's doing it better than those three guys.
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It's extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what's going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
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I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
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Every now and then we're going to fail.
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I don't think I'm extremely intelligent by any means.
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Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because... they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can't take it to a dangerous place.
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It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.
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People ask me a lot like, Hey, so when are you done with your tour? Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.
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I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
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I kind of want to know a little bit about everything.
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